Yule Logged: Christmas A La Mode, One Fine Christmas, The Monster’s Christmas, Hollywood Palace, Angel of Pennsylvania Avenue, Christmas at Pemberley Manor , Car 54

Music :

Been sampling a few new things and The Holiday Sounds of Josh Rouse stands out.Also want to give a shout out to Christmas A Go-Go for spotlighting Joli-Bois which set me off on a whole francophone holiday music jag including Laurence Jalbert, Annie Villeneuve and Marie-Elaine Thibert.

Books and Audiobooks:

Returned to the audiobook for The Christmas Card Crime and Other Stories, picking up where I left off last year and highly recomend it for fans of vintage mysteries.

Just stared reading the antholgy An Irish Christmas Feast: The Best of John B. Keane. So far so good.


Movies and TV:

Christmas A La Mode (2019)

A Promising premise goes nowhere, says nothing new or interesting and does it poorly.

One Fine Christmas (2019)

Opens with a quick narrated montage that saves us the drudgery of 15 minutes of dull exposition. Thank you.

The dialogue is both more realistic and way snappier than usual. Thank You.

Most of the actors are awake, unlike the typical Hallmark sleepwalkers. Thank You.

Now, it’s not all good news, One Fine Christmas is as tropey and low budget as they come and full of emotional manipulation (which occasionally works). And the Christmas aspect is lower key than I prefer.

Is it Hallmark? Nope, OWN

Any guest stars? Marla Gibbs!

Directed by? Fred Olen Ray? I wasn’t expecting that.

Does it look like Christmas? Warm weather locale doesn’t help.

Does it sound like Christmas? Occasionally

Does it feel like Christmas? It’s okay.

Did it make me cry? I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Did I finish it? Yep

Is it a good movie? Meh

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Its better than average.

The Monster’s Christmas (1981)

Trippy, cheesy eighties kid’s Christmas fantasy is an acquired taste. I’ve watched it a few times over the years and I still can’t decide if it’s cool or cringe. It’s certainly different, alternately cute and creepy, sweet and slightly disturbing. It occasionally reminded me of Japanese kid’s kaiju tv shows, though with far less spandex-clad fighting.

A monster, basically Sigmund the Sea Monster with a floppy forehead weiner, enlists the help of a young girl to defeat a witch who’s stolen the voices of all monsterkind to stop their singing Christmas carols. I imagine the expanding decriminalization of wacky tobaccy can only help this become a beloved holiday tradition eventually.

Hollywood Palace - Bing Crosby with Glen Campbell (1968)

Classic holiday variety. They don’t make them like this anymore, they can’t, the culture has changed too much.

Not even song or joke is solid gold but I could still watch this over the current crop of holiday hustlers any day.

Youngsters be forewarned, a basic knowledge of mid-century pop culture will be necessary to get all the jokes and references.

Angel of Pennsylvania Avenue (1996)

Decently made, and featuring the great Robert Urich, this depression-era period piece isn’t my cup of tea but I appreciate the effort. Those with a higher tolerance for the maudlin might enjoy it more.

Christmas at Pemberley Manor (2018)

Pride and Prejudice is like meth for a certain type of reader / viewer. I am not that type. That said I would have expected a screenplay based on a piece of classic literature would have made a modicum of effort to be at least a tad higher quality than literally every other movie in the genre. But no. The Austen pandering just exposes the lack of basic creativity. I assume there are sequels.


Is it Hallmark? With bells on

From the director of? Banshee!!!

Does it look like Christmas? A bit

Does it sound like Christmas? Meh

Does it feel like Christmas? A cynical public domain exploiting Christmas.

Did I finish it? No.

Is it a good movie?  No.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Just another clone.

Car 54 Where Are You? Christmas at the 53rd (1961)

Christmas party episode, essentially a showcase for the cast’s various talents from operetta to magic to stand up comedy to crooning.There’s not a lot of Christmas here beyond the framing device but it’s still a great episode.

Yule Logged: Thanksgiving - Charlie Brown, Garfield, Burns and Allen, Casper

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

A classic, obviously, but at this point I’ve seen it literally a hundred times and, to be candid, it’s the weakest of the Peanuts Big Three. If you’re still on 50 views or fewer it’s a must-see.

The Mayflower Voyagers (1988)

While I’ve seen the OG Peanuts Thanksgiving special many, many, many times, I’ve probably only seen this retelling of the Mayflower story a couple of dozen times so it actually played better this year. Recommended.

Garfield's Thanksgiving (1989)

When my kids were growing up this was probably their favorite Thanksgiving show and it still holds up okay.

The Burns and Allen Show -Thanksgiving (1951)

Don’t let the kinescope quality put you off, this is a classic sitcom and a solid Thanksgiving episode. I also recommend seeking out the duos holiday radio shows from the 30’s and 40’s - great stuff!

Casper the Friendly Ghost - Do or Diet (1953)

Similar to the Daffy Duck toon I reviewed earlier, this one finds our floaty friend trying to de-plump a turkey before the ax falls.

Yule Logged: Thanksgiving - New Looney Tunes, Merrie Melodies, A Thanksgiving Tale, Pat Boone and Family, Q*bert

New Looney Tunes - No Thanks Giving (2019)

A wan imitation of the old school war of wits between Elmer Fudd and that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny, but if you haven’t seen the original loony tunes then this will do.

Merrie Melodies - Daffy Duck - No Holiday for Drumsticks (1949)

No classic but real cel animation and gifted voice actors make all the difference. Daffy "befriends" a Thanksgiving turkey only to find himself the new main course.

A Thanksgiving Tale (1983)

The thing with anthropomorphizing in kid’s Thanksgiving specials is that you end up with some weird turkey-related dilemmas. In this tale of feuding animal gangs, from Newark, NJ,  the cats are holding a confused turkey hostage until T-Day to have as a main course while the dogs plot to save the turkey even though they were just waxing poetic about Turkey leftovers they were looking forward to (though not the leftovers of the bird the cats have got). It’s all very odd.

Some decent puppetry, some surprisingly contemporary-sounding, for 1983, songs and the script is better than the premise. I don’t consider it a holiday classic but it makes for a change from the relative handful of options usually available.

Pat Boone and Family  -  A Thanksgiving Special (1978)

John Byner, Bob Hope, and The Hudson Brothers guest in this holiday special from Pat and the Boone’s. And it’s awesome. Goofy, cheesy, wholesome and perfect. And I expect everyone else will hate it.


Best Thanksgiving Ever (2018)

No, it isn’t, not at all. Cheap comedy trying to work, I don’t know, maybe, an It’s Always Sunny vein.No thanks.

The Very First Thanksgiving (2017)

Short but sweet Scholastic / weston woods narrated children’s book.

Q*bert: Thanksgiving for the Memories (1983)

Odd little Thanksgiving episode of an odd little video game based Saturday morning cartoon. The Pilgrim’s story retold with Q*bert and co.. It is what it is.

Yule Logged: Picture a Perfect Christmas, Christmas in Evergreen, Christmas Town, Santa’s Magic Toy Bag, Gumby

Audiobooks:

Yule Log Murder by Leslie Meier

Dull. Would fit in perfectly as a Hallmark Mystery movie, if fact it would be better as one.

The Christmas Stories of Charles Dickens read by Michael Page

Pleasent, well narrared collection of some of Dicken’s lesser known Christmas writing.

Music:

Occasional forays into Sirius XM Holiday Traditions and some George Winston, Kate Rusby and Manheim Steamroller. Nothing new has really caught my ear yet, though the Magne Furuholmen album shows promise.

Movies and TV:

Picture a Perfect Christmas (2019)

I don’t know which is worse, movies that are Hopeless from the jump due to low budgets or under experienced artists, or flicks like this that, by all rights, should have been a pleasant momentary diversion, but was just more bleh. It wasn’t bad it just wasn’t present. Two or three of these a year is one thing, three or four a week just puts me to sleep.

Is it Hallmark? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? Yes

Does it feel like Christmas? I guess

Did I finish it? No, and it bothers me ‘cause I usually only bail on bad movies. But boring and predictable is becoming the new bad for me.

Is it a good movie? It’s okay.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? Anybody else would probably like it a lot. I’m just becoming more like Grinchy.

Christmas in Evergreen (2017)

Is this is as good as it gets with the Hallmark Christmas romance genre? I mean, they made two sequels so it must have been popular. The script is so blah. I get that these flicks are a comfort thing, simple, predictable, but why can’t they be funny? Why can’t the supporting players be experienced character actors instead of bland day-players? These movies make bank, they can afford a few grand more for better actors. Can’t even blame Canadian location shooting since some of the very best character actors are from the great white north.

Is it Hallmark? To the point of parody, just not funny.

From the director of? Inspector Gadget 2, Beverly Chihuahua 2, Tooth Fairy 2, Jingle All the Way 2 and Dr. Dolittle 5. Ironically he did not direct the sequel to Evergreen - either or them.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure

Does it sound like Christmas? Enough

Does it feel like Christmas?  Like a fake Hallmark Christmas.

Did it make me cry? Nope

Laugh? Nope

Did I finish it? Yes, but it didn’t hold my attention.

Is it a good movie? For a basic cable TV movie

Is it a good Christmas Movie? Some would say so.

Christmas Town (2008)

Diven real estate agent, and crappy mom, visits estranged father in Magical Christmas town. Romance and redemption ensue.

Is it Hallmark? Idk

From the director of? Seduced by Lies, Stranger in my Bed, Aliens in the Wild, Wild West, Text to Kill and multiple Snake Eater films (starring Lorenzo Lamas!)

Does it look like Christmas? I guess

Does it feel like Christmas? Meh

Did I finish it? Yep

Is it a good movie?  Nope

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Not so much.

Santa’s Magic Toy Bag (1983)

From the creator of ALF. comes the story of an ELF.suffering from a crisis of Christmas confidence. Some nice puppetry and a pleasant enough tale, though whenever I hear Santa talk I still hear ALF.

Deserves to less obscure.

Gumby’s Christmas Capers

From puppets to claymation with some vintage Gumby action. I grew up watching Gumby re-runs on Sunday mornings but they were never a huge favorite of mine.

The combined Christmas Carol  / Sherlock Holmes / Santa Claus pastiche isn’t great but it is the highlight.

Yule Logged: Spunky the Snowman (Rifftrax), A Gift Wrapped Christmas, Saving Christmas, Home for the Holidays, Alone in the Woods

Spunky the Snowman (Rifftrax)

Frosty isn’t the only magical snowman in town, here comes Spunky!

Not the best holiday short the Rifftrax boys have done but it’s still got a few great riffs.

A Gift Wrapped Christmas (2015)

A perky personal shopper meets a workaholic single dad and mediocrity ensues. Not awful but not good.

Is it Hallmark? Lifetime

Does it feel like Christmas? Not to me.

Did I finish it? No.

Saving Christmas (2014)

I’ve been lied to! This is not a terrible movie. Letterboxd told me it was one of the worst movies ever made. Of course, most of the people saying that probably haven’t seen the thing but hey, review bombing is what all the cool film school wannabes are doing right?

It’s not terrible and, most importantly, it’s not a movie. It’s Christian edutainment. It’s an hour of reconciling secular Christmas with Liberty University (who produced it) flavor Christianity. If you didn’t do your due diligence, like reading the description, and jumped in thinking it was some sort of cheesy holiday comedy, a low rent Jingle All the Way, then sure you’d be disappointed, but that’s on you.

That said, it’s not great either, it is what it is. A Christian version of those “History of / Truth About”  Christmas documentaries that pop up each season on History and Discovery and so forth (the same folks who bring us Ancient Aliens, dozens of Bigfoot shows and Real Mermaids), and I’m no more offended or annoyed at the bits I disagree with in those than I am with the bits I disagree with here. The acting ranges from Hallmark to Direct to Tubi and there is a truly cringe-worthy dance scene that pads out the running time at the end.

If you’re not evangelical (or at least Liberty adjacent) this probably isn’t the flick for you. Even if you are you might not care for it. But, I have seen a dozen far worse things this month alone (I watch a lot of movies). So, if watching Kirk Cameron explain why a few of our secular traditions do, or can, have deeper Christian meaning lights your tree, then check it out.

Home for the Holiday (1995)

I feel blessed that whatever family holiday dysfunctions my extended clan have (and we have some doozies) none of us are as insufferable as the characters in elevated holiday family dramas like this.

 My least favorite Jodie Foster directorial offering. It is, at least, a fairly well-made film with some solid performances. I just didn’t care about anyone, or anything, in it.

It may sound like I’m recommending Saving Christmas over Home For the Holidays but I’m not. Home for the Holidays is exponentially better as a film, it just didn’t do anything for me.

Alone in the Woods (1996)

Like Home for the Holidays, Alone in the Woods is a Thanksgiving movie. Instead of being a Jodie Foster joint it’s from the director of The Poseidon Adventure (2005 version), American Pie: The Book of Love and My Ghost Dog. Sort of a Home Alone meets The Ransom of Red Chief, sort of. Whatever it is, it isn’t very good. Kid’s with a soft spot for slapstick might get a kick out of it. Me, not so much.