Yule Logged: Holiday Spin, Switched for Christmas, Marry Me For Christmas, Bad Santa

Some context - I'm still at the random viewing stage. Not watching any of the classics this early and there's not much new stuff out there yet. Figured it's a good time to see if I can find a Hallmark type Christmas movie worth watching more than once. Also clearing room on the DVR , and various queues, of holiday stuff I hadn't gotten around to before.

I'm not the target demo for much of this stuff but, the Hallmark / Lifetime style Christmas programming has been dominating the holiday genre recently, that I figure I should give it a try. 

Holiday Spin (2012)

Teen drama follows a dancer and a fighter and a dance competition. They've put a holiday skin on it but it's just rote, low budget, melodrama.

Is it Hallmark? Lifetime.

Any special guest stars? Ralph Macchio.

Is it Christmastime? Yes

Does it look like Christmas? A bit.

Does it sound like Christmas? Not much.

Does it feel like Christmas? No.

Did it make me cry? No.

Did I finish it? No.

Is it a good movie?  No.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  It's not a Christmas movie.

Switched for Christmas (2017)

Figured this was a Freaky Friday kinda deal but it's more of a Parent Trap as identical twins change places to prove something or other about who has the tougher life.

It's no masterpiece but star Candace Cameron Bure is always solid and it's not unwatchable.

Is it Hallmark? Yep.

Is it Christmastime? Indeed.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure. Thanks to Balsam Hill's copious product placement.

Does it sound like Christmas? Pretty much.

Does it feel like Christmas? Sure.

Did it make me cry?  No

Laugh? Not really.

Did I finish it? Yep.

Is it a good movie? Meh.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  It's OK.

Marry Me For Christmas (2013)

Fake fiance trope. Not bad. Cast is good and there are a few nice moments.

Is it Hallmark? Nope, Up!.

Is it Christmastime? Yep.

Does it look like Christmas? Pretty much.

Does it sound like Christmas? A bit,

Does it feel like Christmas? Sure.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Laugh? Couple of times.

Did I finish it? I did.

Is it a good movie? Meh.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? You could do worse.

Bad Santa (2003)

Hoped I'd like this better on re watch but all these years later it still bores me. Nice cast though, definitely could have worked with a better, funnier script.

Yule Logged: Will You Merry Me?, Riptide, Birds of a Feather, Svengoolie

Clearing out the DVR this week, to make room for all the new stuff on its way.

Will You Merry Me? (2008)

Cute culture clash comedy with a nice supporting cast. Henry Kringle (Yes, Kringle) brings his Jewish fiance and her folks home to meet his Christmas crazy parents and hilarity, sort of, ensues. Moms Wendie Malik and Cynthia Stevenson steal the show.

Is it Hallmark? I don't know, this year it's on Lifetime, so probably not.

From the director of? This year's Mindy Kaling / Emma Thompson comedy Late Night.

Is it Christmastime? Yep.

Does it look like Christmas? Absolutely.

Does it sound like Christmas? Sure.

Does it feel like Christmas? Yes.

Did it make me cry? No

Did it make me laugh? On occasion.

Did I finish it? Yup.

Is it a good movie?  Meh+.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? Pretty good, for the genre.

Riptide - Home for Christmas (1985)

In this season three episode of the Perry King, and Joe Penny led action comedy, a dead soldier's father enlists the guy's help to prove the body being buried isn't his son. 

Christmas is well integrated into the episode, including a sound alike cover of Happy Xmas (War is Over) over the opening credits. Obviously not a very cheerful holiday episode, but still a solid episode.

Birds of a Feather - Sailing (1989)

Christmas special from the first season of the popular BBC sitcom finds the a pair of tickets for a Christmas cruise causing consternation between the sisters. 

A nice holiday episode. 

Svengoolie - The Invisible Woman

A couple of Christmas skits are featured in this installment of horror host Svengoolie's weekly spooky movie showcase.Cute bur only barely Christmassy.

Yule Logged: A Snow Capped Christmas, Christmas Grace, Dead End, Toys of Christmas Past

Falling For Christmas / A Snow Capped Christmas (2016)

Forgettable, slightly cringe, TV movie.

Is it Hallmark? Don't think so.

Any guest stars? Facts of Life's Lisa Welchel

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? A bit.

Does it sound like Christmas? Not much.

Does it feel like Christmas? Nor really.

Did it make me cry? Nope

Did I finish it? Nope

Is it a good movie? Oh no.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? Nope.

Christmas Grace (2014)

Very low budget faith based holiday film about a couple of competing toy stores. Technically a worse movie than Snowcapped but it at least has a sincere and laudable message. The type of movie I wish was better so I could recommend it.

Is it Hallmark? No.

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure.

Does it sound like Christmas? Sure.

Does it feel like Christmas? Sure.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did I finish it?  Nope.

Is it a good movie?  Nope.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Pretty much nope but it has a nice message.

Dead End (2003)

Takes place on Christmas Eve with a family on their way to celebrate Christmas with more family but it's not a Christmas movie. Other than a back seat full of pressies and some awkward jingle belling Dead End is just another dysfunctional family road trip into the phantom zone horror movie. Ray Wise and Lin Shaye do as much as they can with stale material but it's all fairly mediocre and predictable. And not a Christmas movie.

Toys of Christmas Past - TV Ads From the 50's, 60's, and 70's.

Terrific compilation of vintage toy commercials. Wonderful nostalgia / pop culture history fun. Sorted randomly and not really Christmassy, beyond the obvious idea that kids asked for (and hopefully received) these goodies for Christmas.

Yule Logged: Time For Me to Come Home for Christmas, Mingle All the Way, Aggretsuko: We Wish You a Metal Christmas, The Jeff Foxworthy Show

Time For Me to Come Home for Christmas (2018)

Did they get that name out of a random Hallmark Christmas Movie generator? Apparently yes.

And the script, is it just as unwieldy? Oh yes. So bad I thinking the screenwriter was actually trolling Hallmark.

And so the direction and performances make up for it? No they must have been in on the gag as well. They successfully produced a movie that is instantly forgettable. As your watching it, each frame disintegrates from your memory the moment it passes your optical nerve.

Is it Hallmark? Yes.

From the Director of? Swamp Devil and Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? No much.

Does it sound like Christmas? Not enough.

Does it feel like Christmas? No.

Did it make me cry? No.

Did I finish it? Heck no.

Is it a good movie?  No.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? With seemingly thousands of other choices I can't imagine wasting time on this.

Mingle All the Way (2018)

Big business and upper class family conflict. Why plots like this turn up so frequently in Christmas movies I don't get. Our heroine' mom doesn't respect her  career as dating app developer. That same app matches our heroine with our hero, a dude she's already got a history with. I wonder what will happen? Will their relationship of convenience blossom into something more?

Is it Hallmark? Yep.

Special Guest Star? Lindsey Wagner!

Is it Christmastime? Yep.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure.

Does it sound like Christmas? Enough.

Does it feel like Christmas? Meh.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did it make me laugh? Nope.

Did I finish it? Yes.

Is it a good movie? Meh.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  It's fine but there are loads of better flicks with the same basic plot.

Aggretsuko: We Wish You a Metal Christmas (2018)

Netflix anime Christmas special.
I have no idea what's going on here.
I'm so old.

The Jeff Foxworthy Show : He's Making a List, Checking it Twice (1995)

Jeff gets in over his head trying to help out his wife with the family's Christmas chores. Guest starring Travis Tritt . 

Not super Christmassy, but decent '90s sitcom fare. If you like Foxworthy, you'll like this. 

Yule Logged: The Road Home for Christmas, Christmas Bells Are Ringing, Christmas Twister, A Very Country Christmas

The Road Home for Christmas (2019)

Above average Christmas road movie. Stars have decent chemistry, script does just enough. Really well made, for the genre. Best of the year, so far.

Is it Hallmark? Nope, Lifetime

Any special guest stars? Ladies and Gentlemen, Ms. Marie Osmond!

Is it Christmastime? Yes

Does it look like Christmas? Yes

Does it sound like Christmas? Yes

Does it feel like Christmas? Yeah it does.

Did it make me cry? Well, no.

Did it make me laugh? Well, yes, a couple of times.

Did I finish it? Yes, and I pretty much paid attention the whole time.

Is it a good movie? It's OK

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  It's OK+.

Christmas Bells Are Ringing (2018)

Rekindled romance set on that part of Cape Cod that's in British Columbia.

Is it Hallmark? Yes.

Going back home for the holidays? For sure.

Dead Parent? Mom.

Unexpected re-connection with old flame? Hey, you've been here before.

From the director of...? Dead Rising: End Game and Deep Evil.

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure.

Does it sound like Christmas? Mostly.

Does it feel like Christmas? A bit.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did it make me laugh? Sadly, no.

Did I finish it? No but the wife did, does that count.

Is it a good movie? It's not a bad movie.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? It's not a bad Christmas movie.

Christmas Twister (2012)

Mega twister threatens Texas around Christmas.  Casper Van Dien stars and is the best part of this SyFy channel level disaster flick.

Is it Hallmark? I wish.

Directed by? Peter Sullivan who's neck deep in cheesy TV movies with 16 2019 co-prod. credits alone! Is it Christmastime? Yep. Does it look like Christmas? Halfheartedly. Does it sound like Christmas? Nope. Does it feel like Christmas? Nope. Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did it make me laugh? No, it's not a so bad it's good kinda bad movie. Did I finish it? No. Is it a good movie? Not at all. Is it a good Christmas Movie? Even less so.

A Very Country Christmas (2017)

Country music star Zane goes AWOL from his career and finds Christmas love with a single mom. Fairly benign, fairly boring.

Is it Hallmark? Nope. Harlequin.

Is it Christmastime? Yep.

Does it look like Christmas? Pretty much.

Does it sound like Christmas? Not as much as you'd expect until a Christmas concert at the end.

Does it feel like Christmas? Superficially.

Did it make me cry?  No.

Did I finish it?  Yep.

Is it a good movie?  Meh.


Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Meh and a half.

Christmas at Halloween III : Hell School Musical

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Well, that was disappointing. So, someone took the worst parts of Glee, High School Musical and every show on the CW and ripped off Shaun of the Dead. Groundbreaking. This movie needs to get off my lawn. 

It is a very well made film. The songs are fine but instantly forgettable. But the story is hackneyed, the comedy isn’t funny, the zombies aren’t scary.

I really wish I’d liked this more because at times it melds Christmas and horror fairly well but I dislike every character and hate the script, so this isn’t becoming a holiday tradition at Casa Kringle anytime soon.

Silent Night Bloody Night (1972)

Offbeat, slow-moving early 70s indie with a slight underground flavor including appearances by a handful of Warhol day players and the unaccountably beloved, in certain circles, Mary Woronov. The most interesting thing is the score by Gershon Kingsley and that’s only because the film is so un-engaging I paid more attention to the soundtrack just to pass the time. 

Not the worst low budget axe killer movie you’ll ever see, so there’s that. Though John Carradine’s appearance in the cast list should give you some idea what you're in for. 

There’s a fair amount of Christmas in the production design, but it’s not very Christmassy, what with all the bloody murders and all.

Home for the Holidays (1972)

Another holiday thriller from ‘72 is this ABC Movie of the Week starring Sally Field, Jessica Walter, and Julie Harris, among others. It’s not  brilliant but it is a solid made for TV effort from back in the days when even Aaron Spelling put a modicum of effort into producing compelling content. 

A dying patriarch gathers his four estranged daughters to his deathbed to make an extraordinary request. I don’t want to spoil things but there is a lot of melodrama, a body count, plus Sally Fields screaming, a lot. 

Not very Christmassy, mostly incidental decor, but that’s hardly surprising given the familial tensions involved.

Holidays (2016)

Mediocre horror anthology, redundant I know, featuring a number of holiday themed shorts. The Christmas segment, directed by Scott Stewart and starring Serh Green, is okay but pretty predictable.

Yule Logged: Sweet Mountain Christmas, What I Did For Love, Christmas Joy, A Christmas Tail

Sweet Mountain Christmas (2019)

You can go home again, at Christmas. Decent iteration of some familiar tropes.Above-average performances.

Is it Hallmark? Next best thing - Lifetime

Is it Christmastime? Yes, ma’am.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure.

Does it sound like Christmas? Yup.

Does it feel like Christmas? Pretty much.

Did it make me cry? Naw.

Did I finish it? Yes.

Is it a good movie? It’s fine.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? It’s fine.

What I Did For Love (2007)

Fish out of water LA lawyer meets fiance’s rugged disgruntled rural family. By the director of, the superior, Hardbodies and Beethoven’s Fifth.

Is it Hallmark? Yes

Greedy Businessmen? Yep, lawyers.

Is it Christmastime? Yes

Does it look like Christmas? A little bit, eventually.

Does it sound like Christmas? meh.

Does it feel like Christmas? No.

Did it make me cry? Nope

Did I finish it?  With help from the ffwd button.

Is it a good film? No. A poor effort.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Not surprised they didn’t play up holiday angle in the title. A lump of coal.

Christmas Joy (2018)

A career woman reluctantly returns to her hometown for the holidays. Danielle Panabaker stars.

Is it Hallmark? Yes

Greedy Business-people?  Sort of.

Does the heroine run a Christmas event? Yep - the Cookie Crawl!

Romantic interest in hometown? Natch.

Is it Christmastime? Yep.

Does it look like Christmas? Sure.

Does it sound like Christmas? Pretty much.

Does it feel like Christmas? Sure.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did I finish it? Yeah, half-heartedly.

Is it a good film? It’s fine.

Is it a good Christmas Movie? My wife liked it and she’s the target demo so I guess that’s a recommendation.

A Christmas Tail (2014)

Excruciating romantic comedy. Single parents fight over custody of a dog. Really.

Is it Hallmark? No.

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? Basically.

Does it sound like Christmas? Not much.

Does it feel like Christmas? Nope.

Did it make me cry?  Nope.

Did I finish it? Nope.

Is it a good movie? Not great.

Is it a good Christmas Movie?  Nope

Halloween at Christmas Part Two: The Holly Terror

An American Exorcist (2018)

Lots of random Christmas decor and a charisma-free lead.Less than meh.

The Legend of The Christmas Witch (2018)

If you had told me that Michelle Souvi, director of such horrific fare as Cemetery Man, had recently made a Christmas movie, I would have gotten my hopes up for that rarest of the rare, a good Christmas horror flick. Well, he did a Christmas movie but instead of holiday dread, it’s packed with cringe and boredom. 

Plus the terrible English dubbing, though that’s probably not Souvi’s fault. 

Anywho, this is the first Befana film I’ve seen, so there’s that. Not really hoping for a sequel though. Kids might like it, sort of a Harry Potter vibe occasionally, though the whole Christmas Witch thing might be confusing for American tykes.

The Chicken Party (2018)

Unrelenting garbage.

Yule Logged: Day One... It begins!

Hallmark started it's Countdown to Christmas so here it goes. I'll be logging my holiday viewing with my entirely subjective and often cynical capsule reviews. 

I'll be logging all my holiday entertainment watching, not just Hallmark. No, I don't think anyone cares that much. Hopefully, though, I can steer some folks towards some festive fun they might have missed otherwise, and give fair warning on what they might want to avoid where necessary.

A Merry Christmas Match (2019)

Not a great start to the Hallmark holiday season. Awkward Christmas romance that feels like a low rent rip off of a mediocre Hallmark flick.

Is it Hallmark? Yes

Is it terrible? Not terrible.

Is it Christmastime? Yes.

Does it look like Christmas? I guess.

Does it sound like Christmas? eh.

Does it feel like Christmas? Not really, not organically.

Did it make me cry? No, I yawned a fair bit though.

Did I finish it? I did not.

Film Rating: Not good. Not terrible.

Christmas Movie Rating: Not good, with frozen hot chocolate.

5 Star Christmas (2018)

Italian political bedroom farce.

Is it Hallmark? Nope, Netflix.

Is it Christmastime? Si.

Does it look like Christmas? incidental  decor, an apparently dead Santa Claus gets Weekend at Bernied.

Does it sound like Christmas? Nope

Does it feel like Christmas? Nope

Did it make me cry? Don’t be a stunod!

Did I finish it? Yes, but I was bored.

Film rating: Loads of political humor, probably funnier if you’re up on Italian current events circa 2018. Not terrible but nothing I’d revisit.

Christmas Movie Rating: Not a Christmas flick

Christmas at Holly Lodge (2017)

Christmas romance front loads a bunch of sentimental triggers, which all pay off eventually.

Is it Hallmark? Yes.

Greedy business people? You know it.

Causing romantic conflict? Oh yeah.

Is it terrible? Fortunately not. Nor is it particularly memorable.

.Is it Christmastime? Yup.

Does it look like Christmas? Oh yeah.

Does it Sound like Christmas? Pretty much.

Does it feel like Christmas? Sure.

Did it make me cry? It was only a little bit of dust in my eyes….

Did I finish it? Yes, but I multi tasked.

Film Rating: Typical Hallmark sentimental romance - hospitality division.

Christmas Movie Rating: See above but with tinsel.

A Town Without Christmas (2001)

A child’s note threatening suicide starts us on our holiday adventure. The cast, including Patricia Heaton, Ernie Hudson, and Peter Falk, make this one worthwhile despite the initially dark premise.

Begat a pair of Falk featured sequels.

Is it Hallmark? Nope, but is airing on Hallmark. Originally premiered on CBS.

Is it Christmastime? Indeed.

Does it look like Christmas? Yes.

Does it sound like Christmas? Sure.

Does it feel like Christmas? Pretty much.

Did it make me cry? Nope.

Did I finish it? Yep.

Film Rating: Emotionally manipulative drama mixed with fantasy.Not totally my thing but good for what it is.

Christmas Movie Rating: Certainly more complex than most modern Hallmark fare. Not a film for the whole family.

Christmas at Halloween

Christmas at Halloween

A Message From Mars (1913)

Not actually a Christmas flick but the first British science fiction film. This lovingly restored (by the BFI) but ponderous curio makes the list by dint of its A Christmas Carol-esque plot. A miserly misanthrope is visited by a celestial being and shown the error of his ways. Only this time it’s a Martian doing community service in place of Jacob Marley.

Christmas Presence aka Why Hide? (2018)

Looked promising at first. Professional actors, cameraman keeping their thumb from in front of the lens. All good. For about 10 minutes. I get that many characters in horror movies are written as unlikable so we not only don’t mind their demise but might actually welcome it, but this one pushed it to the limit. Godawful. Shudder, you done me wrong on this one...

All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018)

Also on Shudder I suffered through as much of this atrocious anthology as I could. Lumps of coal for pretty much everyone involved.

A Christmas Slay (2015)

Over on Tubi they’ve got this pile of garbage.

Red Christmas (2016)

So, it’s come to this, the best holiday horror (that I haven't already seen) I could find today was this. Not great, not good, but at least it has Dee Wallace Stone.